It’s amazing how quickly things can change after altering circumstances. It happens all the time, change, it’s inevitable, but some changes are so much more unexpected than others. This post is significant and took me some time, as it is a subject that I’ve avoided for awhile, and I had to think long and hard on how I wanted to write it. The change I speak of in this post is that in the past when I sat down at my keyboard I sat alone with my thoughts; however, after a shift in my life, I now close my eyes, take a deep breath and know I’m actually not alone, and I am supported by something so much bigger than myself.
Growing up I was raised Catholic. We went to church weekly and I attended private school, wore a uniform and took religion class. I was taught prayer from a book and how to confess my sins. I remember hating to get up in the morning on Sundays, and would skip mass any chance I could get. I saw this practice of attending Church as a burden and a chore. I never understood what it all meant. I heard what I was taught and I memorized the words, but to truly understand what it meant to believe in God outside the realm of human existence went right over my head.
As I grew up I distanced myself even more. I was married young in the Catholic church, but once I was divorced I learned I was no longer welcome to participate in the sacraments, and when my life took on a different path, I was no longer welcome at all. This is when things about what I was taught became confusing. We were taught that God is all forgiving, and loves all His children, but according to the rules there were exceptions. My heart hardened toward the religion and any faith that was instilled in me started to fade.
Although I never fully stopped believing in something, I harnessed a lot of anger toward the whole idea. I felt I had good reason for my angst, I lost people I loved unexpectedly, my relationships in all parts of my life were unstable, and not to mention what was happening in the outside world to innocent people, animals and children. The thought of turning to God never occurred to me due to my unconnected experience early in my life. Ironically though, it was my darkest hour when the light started to make its way back into my heart.
After suffering a great loss, helping my daughter through a battle of her own and a total life change for me, I was exhausted. I had to begin rebuilding, and didn’t quite know how. In time however, and after harnessing a belief that a child could not be taken from this Earth unless there was a bigger plan, my faith grew stronger. I had to believe there was something more, or the events of my recent past made absolutely no sense. Although it wasn’t until I received the book “The Light Between Us” did my mind open up enough to take steps to learn more about what lies beyond this world in my own way.
In my journey, I came across amazing writers and wonderful spiritual speakers, and a few stuck with me. Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay and Gabrielle Bernstein are now household names. Reading their books and listening to them speak allowed me to open my heart to the fact that there truly is a greater good at work, and I am being guided and supported in this life daily. I was also able to recognize that spirituality didn’t mean rules, didn’t mean a brick and mortar gathering place, but it meant a personal relationship with something so much bigger than myself.
Within these books, this something bigger is referred to as the Universe, Spirit, the Divine, Love or for me, God, and if we have faith and if we allow the guidance, amazing things can happen, and these things are referred to as Miracles. It was a Miracle in itself that my heart softened to let Love in, but it was even more miraculous what happened to my life when I did. The Miracle of Peace, the Miracle of Happiness and the Miracle of Love is possible in any situation, in any moment, and in any life, all you have to do is believe.
“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Lots of Love,