I sit here tonight looking up at the stars in wonder. Wonder that sends my mind to thoughts spiraling in waves of emotions that are made up of mostly awe. The type of awe that plummets you into a world of questions where no true explanation lies — the unexplainable phenomenon of creation, the beauty of what surrounds us and the meaning behind it all. While I can sit and contemplate these wonders all night, today, my mind focuses on one question that plagues those who are left behind after losing someone they love. Where?
You may not agree. You may be thinking that the question I should be asking is Why? Why are there those who walk this earth until they are old and gray and those who barely experience living. Why are there those who are stricken with sickness and pain and those who leave us in shock and confusion. Why? It’s the ultimate wonder that begs an answer, and the whys can take up extended space in our minds struggling to find the answer. For me, I could no longer ask Why, because the more I would seek the reasons behind this complex question, the deeper into sorrow I would go. I have come to realize it is not for me to understand. So, for me, Where, was the question that sat in my mind tonight.
I once read that the white light that many describe as Heaven is the end of a rainbow where all the colors come together. What a beautiful thought, it’s as if the brilliant shades of life lead us to their origination when we pass from this earth to a place where we are free. This is how I picture it, free. Free from pain, free from anger, free from heartache and filled with peace. Is this light a place, a feeling, a dream? For me this is where, this is Heaven.
I believe in God, I believe in Heaven and I believe that when our loved one’s leave this earth, their physical presence ceases existence, but their spirit is always with us. I believe to the very core of my being that if we listen to our hearts, their wisdom and their love speaks to our hearts, and if we pay attention they let us know they are there, maybe not as they once were, but as a soft breeze, a cardinal, a rainbow, a breathtaking sunset or a butterfly.
This is why I’ve learned to often ask myself where, and it’s not very long after I open my heart they let me know by showing me my faith in something more is not unfounded, and I am comforted, and I smile. We are guided everyday through this life, and we can choose to believe we walk alone, we can ignore the signs that there is something beyond our understanding, or we can have faith that love never dies, and that when Heaven gains an Angel, so do we.